Today I awoke to a rainy and dreary day in Virginia. There has been talk about it being ice tonight. I did
get to see some ice cycles forming on the trees. To me that is one of the most beautiful sights of winter. I
know ice causes a multitude of problems for communities but I still love to see it. It was the winter we had Nana
(John’s mother) that I last saw a ice storm. John’s sister was still alive and we really had a lot of fun. The picture
at the top of this entry is our house at that time. I love that picture!
Nature speaks to me in so many ways. It always has. If you study birds you will see the character traits I
Believe our Heavenly Father wants us to have. The way they care for the young and than how they help the
babies come to the feeders to eat but they teach them to be careful. I remember Uncle Joe’s hawk that came and
would sit outside his bedroom every morning and Uncle Joe called him “his hawk”. When Uncle Joe would
come out for the day the hawk would be gone. He left the day Uncle Joe died and I watched for him for the
longest time. One day he came and sat outside the side of our bedroom and came each morning. Than it
seemed like he was my hawk. It reminded me of all the things that gentle mad taught me. The pair of geese
that came and had babies and raised them on our lawn was a great lesson. I could feed the parents but it was
quite a long time before they allowed the babies to come where I threw the corn. The could chase you something
awful when they wanted more distance between you and their young. Isn’t that the way we are to be when danger
is lurking close to our children? My grandma is a case and point to danger and kids. Really I should not even
mention kids and grandma in the same sentence….you see grandma took offence when someone called her children or
us grandchildren “kids”. Her reply is that was not correct because she was not a goat and therefore we were not kids.
She even wrote to “Back to the Bible Radio Program” to correct them and they thanked her. My response was not so
Kind. I thought it was funny. But she was against TV for any reason. It was still the days of antennas on the roof and she
called the whole thing “The devil (TV) sitting in the living room with his tail(the antenna) sitting on the roof.”. Again I
fount that funny and loved her saying it but she saw danger in the TV. I do believe she would have a fit today if she
knew what came through to our children. She had long-range sight I would say but I believe we can govern what comes
on in our homes that our children watch. Her feeling was it would harden their hearts to evil and they would allow sin to
creep in.
Now I have chased enough rabbits…we spent time with mom this afternoon. Her therapy sessions are in the morning and
they encouraged us to allow them to have this time. I know the value in that having just gone through therapy. She needs to
concentrate on what they need her to do. When I am there she wants to chat and not work. When I did talk to her over the
phone she was crying and did not want to be there. I assumed they must have worked on the hip but that was not the case
at all. They had worked on her arms to develop more strength. She wanted to sleep and that upset her. At one point in
the conversation she wanted to go to be with dad. I think part of that is to be expected but mom before this was telling me
this over and over. I cannot imagine how it would feel to not have a husband by your side you had there for 65 years. I
know how I miss him. But I cannot let her go there. I did ask they give her something for anxiety because she is hyper focused
on some things. The doctor has not been there to see her yet and that does not make me happy. Her leg is very large and they
say they need to fit her with an elastic stocking but it was too swelled today to get the measurements. She is not being given a water
pill and she is to take them. I plan on calling early and being there when the doctor comes tomorrow.
By the time we got in today she was settled down some but started to cry and I had to be the parent and tell her she had to
“quit the pity parties for herself”. I told her my home heath care provider would tell me to “Put on my big girl panties and grow
up”. She thought that was funny. From there I did get her to lighten up until she knew she would be there until the 15Th and than we
would see her surgeon and make plans. She only wanted to be there a few days. I called her tonight and she was exhausted
so I suggested we come in tomorrow after lunch and she was fine with that. I am still exhausted and needed this time to deal with issues
in my mind and heart.
I never thought I could handle my mom in our home. But faced with the little she has left and the fact we would be so far apart
I see I will need to do this. So I am asking the Lord to do a work in me that will open my heart to love her even more.
I need to push the past out and embrace now. So this is the first way you can pray today….
1. I put out of my heart her feelings she still has when upset, that she only adopted me for dad and embrace the “now”. She has wasted enough time on bitterness in her
life and I refuse to allow that to creep into my life. The last time I saw grandma she shared this with me: “With bitterness it is not the initial
price, but the upkeep that is so expensive”. Based on Eph. 4:31. Grandma also dealt with bitterness.
2. Mom will work to get better. Her attitude is not the best to me. When others call she puts on a good act.
3. That John will find work soon. We will stay here if he could find work. We would stay in this area if a good job was to be his.
4. That mom will accept she has to come and live with us for the time being. Others are pulling her to stay here
her surgeon says she must be with us because she will need help for a long time and with the brittle bones this could
happen again. If she stayed here I would just worry and the trips from Georgia to here are just too costly.
get to see some ice cycles forming on the trees. To me that is one of the most beautiful sights of winter. I
know ice causes a multitude of problems for communities but I still love to see it. It was the winter we had Nana
(John’s mother) that I last saw a ice storm. John’s sister was still alive and we really had a lot of fun. The picture
at the top of this entry is our house at that time. I love that picture!
Nature speaks to me in so many ways. It always has. If you study birds you will see the character traits I
Believe our Heavenly Father wants us to have. The way they care for the young and than how they help the
babies come to the feeders to eat but they teach them to be careful. I remember Uncle Joe’s hawk that came and
would sit outside his bedroom every morning and Uncle Joe called him “his hawk”. When Uncle Joe would
come out for the day the hawk would be gone. He left the day Uncle Joe died and I watched for him for the
longest time. One day he came and sat outside the side of our bedroom and came each morning. Than it
seemed like he was my hawk. It reminded me of all the things that gentle mad taught me. The pair of geese
that came and had babies and raised them on our lawn was a great lesson. I could feed the parents but it was
quite a long time before they allowed the babies to come where I threw the corn. The could chase you something
awful when they wanted more distance between you and their young. Isn’t that the way we are to be when danger
is lurking close to our children? My grandma is a case and point to danger and kids. Really I should not even
mention kids and grandma in the same sentence….you see grandma took offence when someone called her children or
us grandchildren “kids”. Her reply is that was not correct because she was not a goat and therefore we were not kids.
She even wrote to “Back to the Bible Radio Program” to correct them and they thanked her. My response was not so
Kind. I thought it was funny. But she was against TV for any reason. It was still the days of antennas on the roof and she
called the whole thing “The devil (TV) sitting in the living room with his tail(the antenna) sitting on the roof.”. Again I
fount that funny and loved her saying it but she saw danger in the TV. I do believe she would have a fit today if she
knew what came through to our children. She had long-range sight I would say but I believe we can govern what comes
on in our homes that our children watch. Her feeling was it would harden their hearts to evil and they would allow sin to
creep in.
Now I have chased enough rabbits…we spent time with mom this afternoon. Her therapy sessions are in the morning and
they encouraged us to allow them to have this time. I know the value in that having just gone through therapy. She needs to
concentrate on what they need her to do. When I am there she wants to chat and not work. When I did talk to her over the
phone she was crying and did not want to be there. I assumed they must have worked on the hip but that was not the case
at all. They had worked on her arms to develop more strength. She wanted to sleep and that upset her. At one point in
the conversation she wanted to go to be with dad. I think part of that is to be expected but mom before this was telling me
this over and over. I cannot imagine how it would feel to not have a husband by your side you had there for 65 years. I
know how I miss him. But I cannot let her go there. I did ask they give her something for anxiety because she is hyper focused
on some things. The doctor has not been there to see her yet and that does not make me happy. Her leg is very large and they
say they need to fit her with an elastic stocking but it was too swelled today to get the measurements. She is not being given a water
pill and she is to take them. I plan on calling early and being there when the doctor comes tomorrow.
By the time we got in today she was settled down some but started to cry and I had to be the parent and tell her she had to
“quit the pity parties for herself”. I told her my home heath care provider would tell me to “Put on my big girl panties and grow
up”. She thought that was funny. From there I did get her to lighten up until she knew she would be there until the 15Th and than we
would see her surgeon and make plans. She only wanted to be there a few days. I called her tonight and she was exhausted
so I suggested we come in tomorrow after lunch and she was fine with that. I am still exhausted and needed this time to deal with issues
in my mind and heart.
I never thought I could handle my mom in our home. But faced with the little she has left and the fact we would be so far apart
I see I will need to do this. So I am asking the Lord to do a work in me that will open my heart to love her even more.
I need to push the past out and embrace now. So this is the first way you can pray today….
1. I put out of my heart her feelings she still has when upset, that she only adopted me for dad and embrace the “now”. She has wasted enough time on bitterness in her
life and I refuse to allow that to creep into my life. The last time I saw grandma she shared this with me: “With bitterness it is not the initial
price, but the upkeep that is so expensive”. Based on Eph. 4:31. Grandma also dealt with bitterness.
2. Mom will work to get better. Her attitude is not the best to me. When others call she puts on a good act.
3. That John will find work soon. We will stay here if he could find work. We would stay in this area if a good job was to be his.
4. That mom will accept she has to come and live with us for the time being. Others are pulling her to stay here
her surgeon says she must be with us because she will need help for a long time and with the brittle bones this could
happen again. If she stayed here I would just worry and the trips from Georgia to here are just too costly.
Until tomorrow…..
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