Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Please pray for mom

When I got in today I knew we were in trouble......she is coughing again and it is deep. She is bringing up nasty stuff. She had a bit of toast for breakfast...sipped some tomato soup for lunch and I managed to get 1/3 cup smoothie that I had frozen for her and that was exhausted. She ate no supper.

I just got a call....she has a temp. over 101.....they have taken blood and got it to the hospital and in the early AM the mobile x-ray will be there......she was already in bed and will be checked each 1/2 hour.

Mom is tired of fighting.....

Please pray God's will be done.....she was scheduled to come home Sat. but now I wonder....I just have a bad feeling.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP





Signs of Spring here in Massanutten are everywhere. It has been rainy or cloudy for the last few days and so greens are popping out and the landscape is coming alive. I see tiny ferns just breaking through the ground. My tulips are looking ready to bloom soon. It has been so long since I have had Spring bulbs in my yard.

Mom is back in Oak Lea and is doing much better. She still has memory lapses. For some reason Lancaster is embedded in her mind and she thinks I brought her from there. She talked to Aunt Gladys a bit yesterday and I was pleased. But when she got off the phone she thought they should come see her in Lancaster. I now can tell her where she is and it comes back. The nurses said she had a very bad morning yesterday and was very confused. She wanted to stay in bed and informed them when she lives with her daughter she will not be getting out of bed and would be eating in her room when she wants to. The therapist told her that would not be fair to me. So they warned me she will go back fast if I allow her to do that. I see many challenges ahead. She is very weepy about dad.

The plan is to bring her home to stay today a week. She is distressed it is that long but we have to be sure that UTI is gone. She is walking great except she looks down all the time as she uses the walker. We cannot get her to look up. That may have to do with the Lewies Bodies.

She is not really eating nor drinking much. I got tired of that and made a mango/peach/banana smoothie full of protein powder and took it in. She turned up her nose but I ignored her and put some in a small cup and gave her a spoon and that I began to chatter so she would not have a chance to think about what was in her hand and she ate it. I filled it again and again and again and only at the fourth cup did she stop. She did not know she had that many and Kitty and I (her room mate) just had a good time about it. But smoothies will be a daily item here at home. I learned with Nana (my MIL that lived with us) you can hide nutrition many ways.

Mother has a best friend....Mary Zook and this precious lady has been so faithful visiting mom almost daily and lately taking her spins on the wheelchair. Mary is a strength to me too. Watching them tells me we need to keep our friends close. Friends are a treasure.

Today, even through it is cloudy we will take time for John and I. I still need something upstairs for my crafts and counter for the printer. So I think we will go treasure hunting. I will call mom to remind her I am taking today off from coming in to see her.


PRAY:
Mom’s chest will clear up…..she is coughing a bit.
Mom will do all she needs to do this week in order to come home. When she gets down she gets hard headed and will allow the depression to take over.
I will have the patience and strength I need. My knees are killing me right now.
John will get a job. We are praying about his own business.
Mom's roommate has been taken to the hospital...Miss Kitty

PRAISE:
Mom is on far less drugs.
She can carry on a conversation about memories….that comforts me.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mom"s mind is better today

Mom seemed a lot more alert today. They have pulled her off Wellbutrin completely. They feel that was what threw her over the top......they also have her off of 3/4 of the lorazepam for anxiety. She is on 2 low dosage a day along with 100 MG of Zoloft and when she is home they want that cut down. But it will take months to do so. She still felt she was in Lancaster and folks from Elizabethtown had been there to see her. She does have dementia they feel but we can work with it. Her short time memory is bad. We will deal with that when she is home. She will stay on Aricept for now but that is hard on the Urinary Track and she still has a cloudy urine. So that may have to be stopped and the memory may get worse. The trouble is they have to take her off of that slowly too.

BUT she is on IV's for bacteria and is a sick lady. She is on Zosyn for several more days. Than she is on even more by mouth. She does have the bacteria for a type of pneumonia and also has severe diarrhea.

So the plan is for her to go to a rehab until this is straightened out and they can walk her more because she has become very weak. I will know tomorrow where she will go. They told me I have done a good job on watching her and they said they will request nothing for her mental state will be allowed to be added unless they talk to John or myself. We that have her primary care doctor to run it past. Mom and dad went to him when they lived in Virginia and mom does remember him.

PRAY:
We get to the Rehab that will allow my input.....

She can begin to eat...she just could not today. I think she ate 1/2 salad and a few strawberries.
She did not attempt to eat supper.

The correct meds can be found and work for she is getting weak.

A job for John

PRAISE:
She was so much more alert today and far less confusion.

I actually enjoyed visiting with her.

She does not need the Mental Health Floor.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Today was a tough day

Mom has been moved to the Mental Health Unit. They hope to help her come off the large amounts of meds and see just why all the confusion. I visited her at lunch and she was very confused. She told the doctor that she was 97. Than she told us that grandma had been sneaking in to give her meds. They asked her if her mother was alive and she did not know.....that I said remember mom, that grandma died on Black Monday.....and she came right back with November 2......but later she told us her mother was there......Betty Ebersole is giving her meds and snuck her there......than she told the doctor I lived in Pa and drove all night to get to her.....so you see things are not right.......

Her lungs are not clear today and so they have put her back on the IV to get more antibiotics and this will be for several days.

She is not eating. For lunch I got her to eat a few pieces of cantaloupe and tonight she would not eat at all...

We just got back form the evening visit. She was in a fidgety mood and glad to see us.....She told me Louie Ebersole build the building she is in and they are allowing her to be there but she wants to come home to Elizabethtown. She mentioned several ladies that are nurses and drive to care for her each day but they all were from Elizabethtown.

She does make sense often but has there times she lapses into her own world.

One lady that visited mom told me she was back to her old self and I was so happy only to be told by the doctor she was so confused all day. I have been questioned why I have her there and I know this person thinks she is fine. But we know she is not. The doctors told me this was the only way to keep her in for observation and to get her off many of her pills and than to find what she needs. As I said she had good minutes and if you catch her than she may sound OK but as the nurse says it is the short term memory that is so messed up.

I so want my mom home.....I just lost dad and seeing her slipping away is so very hard on me. It hurts.

PRAY:
Mom can rest tonight.

The infection will not go to pneumonia.

Her mind may clear

For wisdom for her doctors.

Job for John.

PRAISE:

John is a rock to me....

Friends that remember a card means the world to me right now.

A sweet aunt that sent a "Caregiver's Journal" to me....and it helps!

Books a friend sent that take me away for a bit.

Love of God.....How rich and Pure and such a comfort to me. I know that with God I can do whatever I have to....I am willing.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mom is in the Hospital Again

Mom did not know John and myself this morning and so I took her to the doctor she used to go to......the UTI was terrible and so they gave her a shot......but she got worse and as the doctor was coming back into th room she stated yelling about the rats under my chair....she would not follow and directions and so they sent us to the hospital....

She was put on IV's.....her blood pressure was high.....they looked at the meds and gulped....they said she should have never should have been released.....they called in an internal med doctor and she said mom sounds like pneumonia and I told the rehab she was coming down with that.....she was on meds that made her worse....so they are going to do a sleep study because she has been aspiring in her sleep and I was told the heart values are not working right....they are concerned about the years of constipation......she is mal-nourished and really bad.....there was a list of 15 things she wants to deal with. I really liked her and she listened to all we said. Told us we are doing a great job and wanted us to know she will do all she can.

I am so worn out...my day started at 5 with her yelling about dad and she thought she was chasing him....that will get your heart racing when you are sleeping good....we had the baby monitor on all night.....My back is hurting from trying to hold her up and my mind is simply burned out.....So say prayers for us and when I know more I will post......

Monday, March 9, 2009

MOM IS COMING HOME

Mom is coming home on Wednesday.Talk about laying down a lot of cash......go get a 3 way potty, transfer bench for the tub, rails for the toilet and a wheelchair....than Depends and pads for the bed.....hat was over $500.00. And no Medi-care would only pay for the walker. I bit my lip and wrote the check. If she understood she would have a fit! But while she worries she does not seem to understand at all.

If you all have your mom and dad and can spend time with them while they are mentally OK make sure you spend time with them. I look at her and only wish we could have been better friends. I was that with dad but mom always kept me at arms length with her bitterness of not having a child of her own. I look at all of those years and wonder if she knows what she missed out on.....I wonder if she knows how hard it was on dad....I wonder what she would have been like if she would have been happy and thankful.....I wonder if she wonders.....The life lesson is this....life is too short to be ever be bitter. Bitterness kills so much and robs one of joy. We have to start each day with a list of what we are thankful for. We embrace what comes and accept the hard changes. In doing these things we find we are drawn closer to the Lord and those we love. Dad showed me how to be grateful and he would so often talk to me about his worries about mom being so bitter. I never heard my dad complain about his polio and his lung trouble. He instead was cheerful and helpful. He gave me a wonderful example. But than I look and see the Aunties that raised him lived that as a whole.

Never allow bitterness to steal the blessings! Mend fences, embrace loved ones, forgive and live a full life. As I look at mom I see no coping skills except bitterness and depression.I ask you all pray as I begin care for mom. It is all I can muster to do this but she adopted a baby that needed a home and I have come to see that I can say thanks by giving her a home. The depression she has is serious and we need prayers there too. I fear he has her on way too many meds! So we will work on that too.

I just had a horrible news...a precious online friend died last night. I was on a group called the Lilies for years and she was one of the early members. I shall miss her very much....may we all treasure each other a bit more.....Pray for Elaine's family.

PRAY:
For the confusion to be less.

That mom gets her balance in check. For now it will be 24 hour care for John and myself. She falls back but they can do no more in therapy.

That my legs can handle this all as well as John's and my health.

Job for John

Monday, March 2, 2009

What a Beautiful Snow!

This is from the back door this morning. You can see a bit of the ramp John is building for mom.

This is from the front door. I simply love snow!
The Friday visit home for mom went well. I went to go get her around noon and the therapist followed us. They are no longer able to transport folks in their private cars due to insurance issues. John had worked on the ramp after dark and first thing in the morning and had it ready for her when we got home. He just has to finish the side rails. She was really worn out by the time she got into the house. But she wanted to see her room. Much to my delight she liked it.
We found a adjustable single bed on Craig's List with massage in it too and that pleased her. The therapist helped her get up and down in the bed. Than they checked out her bathroom and mom said it was the nicest she has ever had. John did a GREAT job with both rooms.
I had made pot roast, sweet potatoes, Yukon Gold potatoes and carrots. Mom ate! The therapist was shocked. For dessert I had sliced Florida strawberries and added sugar and we had that over vanilla ice cream. That is something mom loves. She ate that all too. As we sat and chatted I saw she was exhausted and asked her if she wanted to lay down. But she said since she "Had" to go back she was ready. We agreed and so I drove her back. On both trips I could engage her in conversation about the mountains, places she saw she and dad had been to, and some memories. That was encouraging to me.
I promised John I would rest Sat. and that I did! I needed to allow my meds to help heal this lingering cough and congestion. I made us sausage/egg biscuits for brunch. John was outside working and I thought he may want to eat lunch and he did so we had soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. We had a late supper and had crab cakes, french fries and a salad.
On Sunday I called mom and she was crying. It had snowed and she told me I had to come in. So John took me in and he went material shopping for his outside projects. Mom was not doing good at all. She was in a nervous tizzy! I think her night was rough and her memory was messed up. he was upset there were boxes in half of our living room when there was not one box there. She declared her room was a corner of the living room and she could not do that. So I quietly reminded her of her trip out here and she cried.
I chatted with the nurse and they feel she is heading for a breakdown. I hope not. She would not drink for the Sat or Sunday. So I called John and told him to bring her a Wendy's burger, FF's and a chocolate milk shake. He said he would. I made her drink a small glass of water which upset her. But it seems they feel the UTI is still there and a bad sigh. Her blood pressure is up again and so the doctor will address that today. The have changed her depression meds to Wellbutrin and added something else. The blood pressure meds have been increased too. The nurse made us a cup of tea and she did not want that either. But when John came with the Wendy's she dug in!
I am not sure just how mom will do. Before she comes home they have to have that blood pressure under control and she has to be able to go to the bathroom alone and her balance must be better. It should be in the next 2 weeks. I think she may be better at home. I hope so.
PRAY:
Mom's blood pressure will go down
The depression will improve
Her emotions will be under control.
A job for John
PRAISE:
She liked the house and her rooms.
We have beautiful snow!
I feel better finally.