IT HAS BEEN AWHILE

I have wanted to write for a week but time flies.
Mom has not been good. But more than that she has
really had a hard time accepting she had a UTI (urinary tract
infection) again. She will not drink much.
So she decided to pretend she was fine and was hard to help.
All the while her urine was getting darker and I would gag
when I had to deal with it. Wednesday the home nurse called
the doctor and asked for a nurse to come and take a sample.
He agreed and she had to use a Cather and said she does
not remember getting so little.....Friday they called
to say that the first test showed she had more bacteria
in the sample than before and more tests were being run.
So we are on Cipro again.

Mom has stayed in bed for the last 2 days and ate very little.
On Sat. she was very ugly because I was right and I was
about to give up.......My nerves were shot to say the least.
Yesterday I simply did what I needed to and just left her rest.

She told the nurse she wants to be left alone. She claims to be
content to be in her room. She likes her meals carried to her.
She says she wants little if any company and feels best alone.
The nurse told me at the table she is not going to get any better.
The doctor agrees. My conflict is that just seems like a waste
of her life....she may try to crochet and the word here "try"
is important. She works and works but so many mistakes make her
tear it all out. She gave up on the jigsaw puzzle. She reads
but cannot tell us what she read. She watches very little TV.
It is so hard to see her just give up....she wants to die and go to
daddy......

I am lonely. I have not had the time to meet anyone and so I stay
home. I long to get out but she does not even want to go on a ride.
I have been making felt food for 2 orders and hope to be able to sell
more of that.

John still does not have a job.....he has good interviews but I am
wondering if local people do not try to hire local people. Our neighbor
says that is the case....so I am feeling some desperation in this area.
Mom can hardly move and so we feel stuck.

Pray mom's UTI gets better and it has not made the kidneys worse.
(she has chronic kidney disease)

I have the patience to deal with all of this.

Somehow I can make one friend.....someone to talk to and maybe get
a chance to do something with. John and I cannot get out together.
How I miss the "date nights".

John gets a job. He does have the sleep study done the 25Th of this
month. He qualified for total coverage. We are so thankful for that.