I have to keep my hands busy....so I did this set for my pin cushion group....They are fun to make and fully jointed. It is all out of felt. I try to do what I can with what I have here. I so miss my stash of fabrics, felt,buttons ect!
I really am on overload! I guess it is a good case of "cabin fever" too. I so need to know we have a home to bring mom home to. But how can one do that without a job? We still have to pay rent in LaGrange.....Mom is asking so many times a day when will we have a house? That pushes me in panic mode. I told John last night I feel like I did when I gave birth....you know the room needs to be right for the baby....the same is true with having mom come Home. I have to make sure all she needs is there. She sold her furniture with the mobile home and so we will need that.
I am really in a panic about a job too. It has been so long it seems since life has been normal for us. I know now that some things did not work out so we would have this time here to make mom comfortable. John did have to do the drug test yesterday and so maybe that means we are closer to a job. Please pray with us for the miracle of a job!
Somehow we must pack LaGrange and have a place to bring it to.....that has me in a fit too. I usually an calm about all this but this time I am stressing.
I know it will fall into place but last night and today I feel like a ball of nerves.
As for mom....she was a mess yesterday. I walked out and chatted with the nurse and asked her if mom was just mixed up with me and she replied, "No honey you do not see the worst". I still marvel that she can get on the phone and make sense. Yesterday they were going to put wood in her knee to keep it from turning in. She wanted me to stop them. I could not reason with her and have learned than it is time to kiss her, pray with her and leave.
The truth of the matter is this...I lost dad in August and I am losing mom a day at a time now. It hurts so much. I have no siblings to share this with and it makes me feel so alone. I long for a sister to just share my fears....needing someone to help me know I can do what I have to do. I don't want to stress John too much about all of this and so I internalize it and that is not good.
Money is a big factor and so we cannot place her anywhere but with us. I also have deep feelings that we need to care for our parents when we can. She loves Sparky and ants us to bring him in at night. She strokes that dog and sometimes I see tears slipping form her eyes. I know what she is thinking...."you miss grandpa too, don't you Sparky". Sometimes she does say that. I am sharing this because Sparky is so gentle with her and she responds to him. One reason I know she would do better at home.
Well, this has been rambling but the best I can do today.....
PRAY:
Mom can rest in peace....not so agitated
Mom's knee will be able to hold her up...it turns in and is a problem when she puts her weight on that hip and leg.
Pray for a job, house and wisdom in moving again.
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