I NEVER KNEW

I took this picture this morning outside the front door.

It has been a long time since I updated this bog. It has been the darkest time for me. But I am learning a lot.

I never knew my patience could be so tested.....but I never once lost my temper.

I never knew that cooking what mom asks for could be so trying....but I have made that extra meal 3 times a day with a smile on my face.

I never knew what bitterness can do.....but I have made sure I never allow it in my life.

I never knew how much one can miss their kids .....but I remember their hugs and laughter and treasure them.

I never knew what lonely really felt like....but I have used my time to learn and draw closer to God.

I never knew I would care for 2 people at once.....but I have learned about each illness and am adjusting.

I never knew how hard it is to see your husband cannot work right now....but I have learned to power of love not judgement.

I never knew what sleep apnea can do and has done.... but I have understanding now.

I never knew what desperation can do to a body.....but I have learned the power of 5 minute "mind vacations" can do for you.

I never knew how hard it would be to ask family for help.....but I have felt the joy and gratitude for the help that came.

I never knew how hard it would be to go and chat with a stranger about our needs....but the relief when he treated me like a human and not a charity case.

I never knew the gratitude I would feel for a hospital program.....but they came through with the CPAC for John without cost.

I never knew the weariness of sleeping light in order to see if John was still breathing.....but each time he was still with me and I was full of joy!

I never thought a stranger would offer career counseling for John.....but they have.

I never knew how precious one new friend can be.....but I met this Mennonite family and love them!

I never knew how precious bartering for food can be.....but we have fresh potatoes, cherry tomatoes, green beans and a pie for mom because of this.

I never knew the daily joy of seeing deer,fox, skunks, squirrels and other creatures bring.....but they visit us daily.

I never knew praying could exhaust someone so much.....but the power of prayer works!

I never knew the power of what a cousin could say to me on Face Book....but it relaxed me and gave me the faith I needed for that night~ Thank you Joy!~

I never knew the depth of the grace of the Lord until now....but I now have felt that "Deep love of Jesus.....vast, unmeasured, boundless, free...."
http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/o/t/othedeep.htm

I never knew the pain of being told no.....but it has taught me I can always give something to someone in need.

I never knew how much I need to relax......but I am learning to live I must....

I never knew what exhausted really is.....but I now see others that are suffering too.

I never knew how much we were loved.....But I know now!!!!!

How about singing with me Amazing Grace how sweet the sound.......