What a Day!

Really it started yesterday.....we were up about 3 hours....in fact I had just talked to Uncle Harolds and was coming down the stairs when she yelled....she was in a mess with Diarrhea. I helped her clean up because she had company coming at 11 and also the therapist. She was too washed out to do the exercises but the therapist saw the nurse needed to come and called and set that up. If I could have called Dan and Catherine (mom's friends) I would have asked them not to come....but mom did good with them. She has learned that if she keeps talking about the past folks will not see the dementia. She did not want much lunch. The nurse said her vitals were good.
The rest of the day was good but she could not sleep. The TV went off and on all night and I had to turn the monitor off because John and I could not sleep. I heard closet doors and finally when I came down she told me she had not slept all night.She was wild eyed. It sure reminded me of Nana after a night of "sun downers". She could not rest all morning and so we decided we needed to take her a ride....we went up the mountain and than to Harrisonburg to get my meds at Costco. She wanted Chick-fil-A. We ate in the car and came back home. John had a flat tire on the truck and so headed down to fill it....I relaxed and thud! I yelled mom and no answer. There she laid on the bathroom floor telling me she was fine. We had been told not to yank her up alone but get help and so I called John who raced back up the hill....we got her back to bed. She claims all that hurts is the tailbone. All of a sudden she yells again and we had a major mess to clean up. I cleaned her up and the diarrhea....the next time she made it to the bathroom and now again. I have just given her bedtime pills.

As I tucked her in she told me I was a good woman....she said "I never knew you were a good woman" than quiet and "I never knew how good your daddy was until he died". What does one say to that? I feel so sorry for her. I came out here and had a good cry. John reminded me how he loved me and he always knew I was a good woman....he than asked me why she never knew this. My gut says she looked for our faults and that kept her from seeing any good in us. That is sobering.

This needs to be a lesson to each of us to tell our husbands and wives and children how much we love them and point out their strengths.

I am concerned mom may get dehydrated again so tomorrow I will be on high alert. You all can be in prayer for her. Pray for understanding for me. She told me tonight I am kind...far kinder than she was to dad. I told her she was my mom but I saw the sadness in her eyes.

Mom was confused tonight really getting angry when I told her she had a bout of diarrhea yesterday. She did not remember at all. I told her she can ask the nurse and she could assure her I was not making it up....than she said, I know I am mixed up, I can remember years ago and last year but not day to day anymore. Again I saw that sadness. It breaks my heart.

So today was a bittersweet day.....I am glad she sees I have good in me but I feel such a loss she never really saw it before.