I thought today I would use my felt bears(that I love to make) to share a topic near and dear to my heart. I simply loved having my 3 children at home. In fact I hated when breaks were over and they had to go back to school. I missed them so much when summer vacation was over and back they went. There are 7 years between the girls and 8 years passed when Ryan joined us. I really got to enjoy each of the children alone because of the years between. I liked that. Our home always seemed the place the kids friends gathered and I welcomed that. One way to learn to know their friends was to have them around and join us in fun. It was not unusual for one of their friends to live with us for a season. I often got up late when they needed something to eat and make it and join them. These were happy days for me.
When my oldest left home I missed that girl so much. I missed her friends and I missed all the ups and downs we had. When her daughter was born I learned the joy of being a grandma and keeping her daily was so much fun. She was a good baby, a girl that loved to be read to and learned quickly. Than her baby brother was born and I had 2 to watch while their parents worked. He was a cuddle bug! But this all came to an end when we moved to Atlanta. That was the year the second daughter left for college too and I was really at a loss. I felt emptiness and really was not prepared for these feelings.
With Ryan I homeschooled him and that gave me wonderful time to spend with him. We often had tea mid afternoon and that was the time we learned about a composer and listen to the music, or I would read a poem and we would learn about the poet or we read a book and learned about the author. Those were precious times to this mom! It was during this time that my husband's mother came to live with us and his uncle. So we had to turn our energy to their needs to. After Uncle Joe died and Nana declined Nicole moved back home to help me. I relished the time I had with her again. She was now a grown up lady and I was proud of her.
Several days before 9-11 Nana passed away and the loss I felt was something I cannot express. She had not known me for a long time but she was indeed My Mother-In-Love!
Soon I watched the 3rd one leave the nest and move south. I remember crying that night. It was quiet. There were no more work shirts and pants to iron for Ryan. No more "mom can you make me a peanut butter sandwich" and I would tell him he could and he would say "but mom you make the best ones ever" and I would do it.
John and I made a major move and Nicole left home and she was my TV Buddy. I missed that. I missed having lunch with her. I missed her hugs! I missed her!
The move was sure a new adventure! I still had that hole in my heart because the kids were all gone. I did go through a time of grief but I also opened my eyes to what was ahead of us. I began to feel excitement at all we could do and my husband who I loved and I were becoming closer to each other and worked with each other. Our passion for nature was something we embraced. We went places we wanted to go and enjoyed what we wanted to. Than Ryan came home again. I loved him being there but I knew it was for a season and understood that was the way life is to be. There is much I could write about but I think I will end this entry by saying all 3 are married and now we have a fourth grandchild that I got to watch and play with. Being a grandma is the best!
I shared all of this to say that empty nest feelings are so real.
The term “empty nest syndrome” was created by psychologists in the 1970’s to define the sense of loss or depression that parents often feel when their children leave home. What I found is that this is the time we should learn to rest and reflect. It is a wonderful time to set goals for you and do the same with your husband.
I learned to really journal and look back at the times I nursed my babies, played with them and did all the "firsts" in their lives. It is also the time I really got to take the time to grow closer to God. It was the time to down size and simplify and to really enjoy my stitching.
I learned a lesson when I read the following verse....
As an eagle that stirs up her nest, that flutters over her young, He spread abroad His wings and He took them, He bore them on His pinions. Deut. 32:11 AMP.
A mother eagle feeds the young eaglets for a long time, but soon the mother eagle frantically flaps her wings over the nest and, of all things pushes the eaglets out of the nest. They plummet down from that high mountain crag. We think what a horrible thing that was to do but before those little eaglets have fallen very far the mother eagle swoops down underneath them and catches them on her wings and carries them back up to the nest again.This practice is repeated over and over again, until the eaglets are flying on their own but they always return to the nest. The mother eagle can push them out of the nest, and it isn't necessary any more for her to catch them. They now can fly about by themselves and they came home.One day they do fly away and are on their own. This is what we do with our kids....we have them at home and feed them with both groceries and God's Word. We play with them and learn with them. We teach them about the world and all they can do......they begin to fly with our help as they grow older and they do come home. But one day they get married and go out on their own as the Bible says they should. We are there to offer advice when they ask for it but they do have to live their lives. To me this is when we have our real ministry......we pray and we pray because we now have time to do this.
I am here to tell you a Empty Nest is a blessing from God we need to embrace!
